Endearing Bonds


under_the_gold_sun-wallpaper-960x540When I was a little kid trying to understand everything around me, all I wanted at the end of the day was my mother. Some times I missed my dad, but it was mostly my mother whom I missed the most. I loved my friends, but they weren’t as important. I loved my neighbors, but they weren’t as special.

I was like that horse with blinkers who could only see one thing all the time, my mother. My life had other bonds but they didn’t matter at the end of the day. But then, I grew up…..

I always think that life is more than funny, it is actually, absurd. When I have the wisdom and the ability to take my own decisions, I am not happy. I was pleased with my life when it was controlled and dominated. That life was carefree, this life is exactly the opposite. In bondage, I had freedom.

When I grew up, life’s parameters grew. I made more friends and they moved higher in my importance ladder. I made some new relations and they meant something extra to me. I was slowly binding myself with these relationships. That time was happy when people kept coming in with their own philosophies and love.

My life was slowly creeping into this complicated zone which was new to me. My friends became mean, the neighbors were prying and then of course all those new relationships weren’t as positive. But there were those really special friends who protected me, those relationships who always had my back and my mother was watching all this from a distance.

vintage_clock_3-wallpaper-960x540I can safely say that I loved my life and I do even now. What’s not to love?

But I am so tied up right now. I am not free. I am so stupid that I even get attached to a book and cry with it. I watch a sitcom and I love & cry with those characters even though I know they are not real. I get betrayed, I forgive. I am sad because of someone but I justify even that. Why do I do that?

I am scared of giving up. I am paranoid of cutting myself from the familiarity of my relationships. But when they end abruptly without a notice, it is worse. Time heals the pain, true. But I demand continuity and the tag forever attached.

When I look back in time and recall the memories I spent together with those people, it all comes back in tears. I am a teary person and I know that we all are very weak inside. More than anything else I make myself understand life’s biggest rule and that is Impermanence. Life keeps on changing and it is all a time’s play. Losing something doesn’t make you a winner. Similarly winning something doesn’t make you a winner, at least permanently.

bird_in_flight-wallpaper-960x540Time changes as fast as we blink our eyes and so it becomes very vital for us to register the fact that nothing stays with us forever, life is ever-changing because God wants it that way. You can not fight God. But you can make peace with his little games. Fight him and you will gain nothing, accept it, you will at least conquer yourself.

 

“Love is like the wind, you can’t see it but you can feel it.”
― Nicholas Sparks

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7 thoughts on “Endearing Bonds

  1. Always full of wisdom and heart. Be well. jim

    James M. Schaffer 203-912-2802/mobile Charity-Spring.org LinkedIn Twitter

    On Wed, Apr 30, 2014 at 1:48 PM, Tanushree Srivastava wrote:

    > Tanushree Srivastava posted: “When I was a little kid trying to > understand everything around me, all I wanted at the end of the day was my > mother. Some times I missed my dad, but it was mostly my mother whom I > missed the most. I loved my friends, but they weren’t as important. I > loved”

  2. I feel for you Tanushree, though I would say that what you feel is a good thing and not a bad. The modern world pushes the philosophy of independence and letting nothing get to us and, while there are good reasons for that, I don’t find myself agreeing. Instead, I think our vulnerability to one another is very important. The expression “it is better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all” is a good one on the whole – and not just for romances!

    That doesn’t mean we should let ourselves be abused by those we thought were friends but proved to be false. We move on and we learn – and then we find better, truer friends – but the process is still important and shapes us into who we are.

    And finally, the pain we go through when those relationships go wrong helps us to love and appreciate the relationships which prove to be enduring and faithful all the more. I’m blessed with many friendships I trust and rely on day by day. But those relationships have been hard-won and didn’t come without earning necessary scars along the way. 🙂

    • Your words always give me so much peace. Thank you so much for always being there to give me a little advice and an insight into life in general.

      I agree with everything you say, nothing in life comes easy. We have to fight for it and honestly the charm lies in that alone!

      Thank you!!

      • That’s right! Thank you for being so kind about my attempts at comfort – peace is always my intention. And if you ever feel like braving a new friendship and the trust that has to be ‘chanced’ with it – you know how to get hold of me privately. Always there for you 🙂

  3. So true…

    You remember the conversation we had about change? Some change and move on and some change and stay, some will remain same but still move on.. We gain maturity , we value life and happiness more as the time passes.

    Belated birthday wishes :)… Hope all is well, take care….

  4. Hey Tanu, I did drop two mails in your @charity-springs.com mail id :D. Is still waiting wondering if that was the id to communicate :P.

    Happy writing !

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