Our emotional yearnings are simple and intense. We want our life to be one continuous chapter without any pauses. Contrary to that our life counters everything we want from it. We succeed and we fail, we make relationships and break up and so many things which gave us the feeling of comfort at one point of time go away after their karma is done.
I have this compulsive need to hold on to things and relationships even when they are not working for me. A relationship which gives me nothing but despair has its own little space in my heart which has a familiar feeling, a feeling of comfort which I am paranoid of losing. A book which is pathetic should be closed right away, but the fact that some money went into it makes me think that it will pick up after some pages and that leads me to read at least three-quarters of the book. Yes, we should give chances to everything in life but only till a certain point.
“No matter how much suffering you went through, you never wanted to let go of those memories.”
― Haruki Murakami
Going back a year back, I still remember those tears leaking down my face with the fear of leaving everything behind. Those college days are always cherished by everybody, the class bunks, the canteen coffee which always tasted bad but somehow sipping the last of that coffee brought tears in my eyes, the teachers who always seemed so cruel and inhuman became friends and sang songs, all those precious friends who met for the first time when we felt lost in the new world were also leaving. Those things were and even now very dear to me now and will stay with me forever. But that feeling of helplessness is history. This next phase of my life is everything I want it to be and although I do miss my days as a student, I am proud of everything that I have accomplished and that more than makes up for those laid back summers and carefree days.
Leaving things behind is OK and they somehow leave us after a while but there are some people who always stay with us in our hearts even when they are not physically present with us. The trick is to realize that changes in life are necessary to see new things in life and no matter how barbarous they seem at that moment they are positive.
A good relationship might end for something better, good old college days end to start an absolutely new phase in life, our friends move on to new places so that we make new friends!
You know, no matter how good a book is, it always has a last chapter 🙂